Tiny Bubbles...

Tiny Bubbles...

Kerry’s mom, Chris, has her moments of concern about her husband but they are far and few between. As I mentioned in an earlier BLOG (Is there a doctor in the house? March 23, 2012) she lives within her own bubble; that is her entire world. We never sat down and told her that her husband’s condition is dire or that she may one day (soon) become a widow. That was a conversation we felt that she and Red should have together, when Red thought the time was right; no sooner; no later. 

Chris was able to pick up little bits here and there while listening in on phone conversations with their daughter Tina or son John. Chris started wondering why Red was having so many extra doctor appointments. Finally Red told her that his prostate cancer treatment wasn’t working as well as they planned and they were now looking at other options. She heard, she pondered, then she quickly changed the subject. I think she was doing a crossword puzzle at the time and just refocused on the puzzle by immediately asking what a four letter word for a moons flow was (by the way, the answer was Tide). She preferred avoidance versus the reality that was facing her and her husband of 67 years.

One day, about a month or so after Red had “the talk” with her, she looked up at Kerry and said, “I am so sad about your dad. I don’t want him to leave me!” Those words sank deeply into Kerry’s core. Kerry replied as any Christian would, by listening and offering words of comfort. Kerry didn’t deny her mother’s claim that Red was going to die. Kerry knew the truth while her mom only knew the eventuality. 

We are planning on down playing Reds illness until the point when he can no longer do things for himself. That is the way he wants it and after all, it is his life and his wishes. Once we get to the point of having Hospice involved, and that day will come, we will make sure Chris is in the loop every step of the way. Our prayers will change from those of healing to those of comfort and understanding. 

But for now, those days are still ahead of us, a path we have not yet to cross. We will focus on the here and now and share in the laughter of the day to day closeness of family (and the stresses of caring for the aged). 

You never realize how special a gift is until it is gone. For Kerry and I, we see the gift clearly and bask in it each and every moment we can. So when that day comes, the day when we must cross that path into the valley of death, the day when our gift is gone, we will have no regrets; only happy and joyous memories.

 

Posted by RSHunter at 6:37 AM 0 comments

A Prayer for the Elderly

                

A Prayer for the Elderly

Yesterday, I was trying to figure out what to write today on my BLOG. Then it suddenly hit me; getting old, and dealing with the aches and pains of day to day life, just like everything else we experience in life, is a God thing. And since it is a God thing, the only responsible thing to write today would be a prayer for the elderly.

Father, we lift up the elderly to You. Those who are feeble, week, struggling, forgotten. Father, help us to see them and care for them through Your power. Bless them, Lord, and hold them close. Draw them near to You in their last days, and bless them with the peace that comes from knowing You.  In Jesus' name we ask these things. Amen.

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  Psalms 18:2

Now, go out there and hug an old person today...I know I will...

 

Posted by RSHunter at 6:54 AM 0 comments

Please don't burn down my house...

Please don't burn down my house...

Today is Saturday and with Kerry having the day off we are going to take advantage of this time to go out and have some fun. We try to do this whenever we can, as a means on maintaining our sanity. We have what we call our date night during the week which usually involves us going out for dinner somewhere or maybe a walk around downtown. A few hours away from the house does wonders for both Kerry and me.

This being a day with an opportunity for the two of us to play, we are planning on spending the day doing just that. First order of business, after everyone has eaten their breakfast will be for Kerry and me to head to the gym. After we work up a sweat, we will come home, shower and prepare for the rest of the day.

We signed up for a seminar which will run from 1:00pm until 5:00pm. So, before we leave we will make two lunch plates and serve them to Red and Chris by around 11:30am or so. A friend of ours is in town today attending a seminar (not the same one we are going to) and we are planning on going out for dinner with him this evening. We will all meet back here at the house at 5:50 or so then head out for an evening of fun conversation, good food, etc.

Now for the scary part. Trying to figure out something for dinner for Red and Chris was a challenge. Red will have to prepare the meal himself tonight. Red loves to cook and bake and he does complain that I don’t allow him enough time in the kitchen. I've watched Red cook before and it can be scary. Most of my concerns are based on two things; his poor eyesight and his mind sometimes wanders. I've seen him, with empty pan on burner, turn the element up on high and then start doing something else, forgetting about the pan. When I come in and turn the burner down I let him know that he forgot to keep an eye on it. He usually replies, "I didn't forget it. I wanted the pan hot. That's the way I like it." My reply is usually something like, "Oh, okay. Just don't burn down the house."  Pans can be easily replaced but a house (or even a kitchen) is a lot more complicated. And don't get me started about watching him toss the dish towel so it lands kind of close to a hot burner. Now I know starting a fire is not his intention. It is like I said earlier, his eye sight is poor and his mind sometimes wanders. When Red cooks Kerry or I try to be there standing by, just in case. For the most part Red does a good job cooking (somewhat messy, but good).

Well, as I mentioned above, we're going out for dinner and it was decided that Red will cook a DiGiorno frozen pizza. All he has to do is preheat the oven to 400 degrees and place the frozen pizza in the preheated oven, on the middle rack for 22 minutes. Using the pizza paddle will help him to retrieve it once it is cooked. Once sliced he and Chris can sit down and enjoy their meal. We will cut up a tomato and have it already plated for them to enjoy with their pizza. Ice cream bars are in the freezer.

Here is the reality of my concern. If he preheats the oven and leaves it on for a longer period of time, then no big deal - it's just wasted electricity. But, if he places the pizza in the oven and forgets about it, it could get a little smoky in the kitchen. All I can do it replace the batteries in our smoke detector and know that whatever happens, happens for a reason.  I guess I should make sure he knows where the fire extinguisher before we leave.
              

NFPA presents Dan Doofus in "Kitchen for Trouble"
 http://youtu.be/BMXOZw3QpQI   <--WATCH THIS 

Posted by RSHunter at 7:30 AM 0 comments

Reflections . . . of a good day

Reflections . . . of a good day

As I woke up I looked up at the ceiling wondering what I ws going to BLOG about today. Nothing was coming to me. I decided to just not think about it anymore and to turn it over to God. And I did...

First thing this morning, when Red got up, he came into the kitchen with a broad smile upon his face. As I said good morning to him he smiled back and replied, "Thank God for pain pills." That meant he had a good nights sleep and will most likely have an awesome day, even though it is a day of doctors appointments and procedures (light and laser treatments for his skin cancer).

Seeing him walk (with walker in hand) and having that certain skip to his step, I can't help but reflect on some of the good days we have enjoyed in the past (and there were many and by the grace of God, there will be many more).

One of the greatest days in recent history was the celebration of his 90th birthday (Nov 3rd, 2011). We had nephews, nieces, cousins, brothers, sisters, kids, grandkids, great grandkids, neighbors and friends visiting from all over. One of the nearby hotels was over run with the Campbell clan and our guest rooms were at capacity We even had our camper set up in the driveway to house the overflow.

I can go on and on about that wonderful day, but instead, I thought I would just show you the video.

Enjoy this video of the family celebrating Red; http://youtu.be/B514PYmYARY

Please feel free to scroll to the bottom of this page and click on subscribe. That way, you will get a notice every time I update this BLOG. And please pass this site around to your family and friends. This is an amazing story and as it unfolds, it needs to be told.

Be Blessed... 

Posted by RSHunter at 6:37 AM 0 comments

It's just another day in Paradise.

It's just another day in Paradise.

Today is Thursday and there are no doctors appointments, no errands, no emergencies (so far). This is a rare and joyous thing. We do have a friend coming over to visit Red at 1:00pm. His name is Jon and he is married to my publisher. Jon enjoys visiting with Kerry's dad. Being a fly boy himself, he sits there and exchanges stories with Red about the life in a cockpit. The difference is Jon flew modern jets versus Reds single prop planes (although single prop fighters like Hurricanes are impressive).

When one is in their advanced senior years and living within a bubble world, it doesn't take much to burst that bubble sending that person into a spiraling emotional downfall. Yesterday, Kerry's dad was looking forward to a trip to Costco with his daughter. Kerry suggested to me that she would like to attend a yoga class at the gym. In order to do this a slight change in the Costco scheduled trip would have to be made. Kerry and I talked about the options and there ended up only being two.

Option A...The plan stays as it is. Nothing changes and Kerry does not get to go to the yoga class.

Option B...We all go to Costco and be there when they open at 10:00am. At 10 minutes before 11:00am we have to make sure we are out of there (45 - 50 minutes of walking around shopping usually wears Red out). On the way home we would drop Kerry off at the gym. I would take Kerry's dad, and the groceries home and drop them off before returning to the gym where I would do a 3 mile run on the treadmill while Kerry finishes her class.

So, as Red was gathering his breakfast together I stood by him chatting. I brought up the topic of a slight schedule change (so Kerry could attend this new class she wanted to try out). Well, you would have thought that I wanted him to uproot his entire world. His bubble was burst and he didn't like it. His temper tantrum was his way of saying, "Stop Rocking My World or Why Are You Moving My Cheese?" He cursed and complained and wouldn't listen to anything anyone had to say. Needless to say, we went with Option A and Kerry didn't get to go to yoga class. We still went to the gym and after coming home and changing Kerry and her dad went to Costco, as planned.

Because he is in the situation he is in (cancer), I feel that it is okay for him to get what he wants, whenever he wants, as long as a) he is not at risk of hurting himself or others and b) he doesn't totally dominate those around him (like me). I am too strong willed to be intimidated by such behavior. Red's kids on the other hand all still feel the wrath of his words and attitude, when things don't go his way. Instead of backing down, I prefer to look him in the eye and ask, "So, how's that working for you?"

Red and I have great conversations because I can talk to him man to man instead of man to child. Now as far as Chris goes, she will always be within her own little bubble, one she seldom leaves. Just make sure her weekly-pill container is stocked, her meals are delivered (bananas with breakfast/apples with lunch/ice cream with dinner) and her newspaper is by her side.

Yes, it's just another day in paradise. 

Posted by RSHunter at 7:49 AM 1 comments

Is there a doctor in the house?

             

Is there a doctor in the house?

Today I want to talk to you about what happens to our bodies as we age. Most of you already experience the aches and pains of tired joints each and every morning as you try to get up out of bed. I know I do. For you younger folks, beware...your day will come.

If you are lucky, you will live a long and healthy life with little or no illness; that is until the end arrives...it will arrive for all of us. Rumor has it that the statistic of those who will face a death-bed is hovering somewhere around 100%. Lets talk a little about what I know.

Since I am Red and Chris' driver and because they (mostly Red) have at least two or three Doctor appointments per week, I spend a lot of time sitting in doctors waiting rooms I get to see a wide variety of sick elderly people. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself when I realize that there are things I want to do that I no longer can, due to my age and physical condition. But sitting there in a waiting room watching folks who are in their 80's, 90's and beyond, I suddenly feel wonderful about myself. It recharges my batteries. I stand taller and breathe deeper. I can see it in the eyes of those elderly folks that they are not all enjoying life. Some are simply going along with whatever God has given them and others are tired and ready for it all to end. I held the door for a lady once as she was leaving the doctors facility. As she passed me she looked up. Instead of saying thank you, her voice cried out, "Don't get old. It really sucks!" Then she continued on her way, one slow step after another. She is one of the lucky ones. She can still get around on her own, with her walker of course.

Red and Chris (Kerry's mom and dad) have their own issues to deal with, besides the usual stuff that goes along with old age. Kerry's mom is suffering with Osteoporosis (thinning of bone tissue and loss of bone density), Scoliosis (abnormal curving of the spine) and of course Type 2 Diabetes and Atrial Fibrillation. Her spine is so badly curved she can no longer look ahead as she moves around. With her walker in hand she slowly moves one sliding step after another until she arrives at her final destination, which is usually one of three places; her recliner, her bathroom or the dinning room table for dinner. Now and then we throw a doctors appointment into the mix and that is Chris' world. We have an exercise bike near her recliner and she is very good about crawling onto it and slowly cycling (with no resistance) a few times a day. We encourage her to exercise as much as she can. She does little, but then again, every little bit helps. When she falls, and she does on occasion, we first assess her for injuries before getting her back up onto her feet. Going to the gym 6 days a week helps keep me in shape for those days when I have to pick up either Kerry's mom or dad off of the floor. 

Speaking of Kerry's dad (Red), he has his own list of medical problems, including Mycosis Fungoides (a rare type of skin lymphoma (tumors of the blood) and Prostate Cancer  (metastatic castration-resistant prostate cancer (mCRPC)). When he was much younger he also experienced detached retinas. In those days they had primitive laser techniques available to reattach retinas. He also had Cataract surgery almost 50 years ago; back then they removed the lens and didn't replace them. He had to cope with limited eye sight (no peripheral vision) and coke bottle glasses ever since. Recently we found out that he is no longer responding to the hormone treatment for his Prostate cancer. We are now seeing a specialist who is helping us deal with what lays ahead. Red is taking it all very well. He once had a near death experience and after that event he said that he has no fear of death. He now knows what is waiting for him on the other side. He  is somewhat excited about making that journey, although he still experiences fear on occasion. I promised him that I would be his transition buddy to help him pass over when that day arrives. We are assuming that this will be his last year with us. At 90 years old he has lived a long and amazing life. When his day comes we will not cry with sorrow. Instead we will sing with praise that he knows God and is finally at peace.

Richard

Posted by RSHunter at 7:21 AM 0 comments

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