It's just another day in Paradise.
Today is Thursday and there are no doctors appointments, no errands, no emergencies (so far). This is a rare and joyous thing. We do have a friend coming over to visit Red at 1:00pm. His name is Jon and he is married to my publisher. Jon enjoys visiting with Kerry's dad. Being a fly boy himself, he sits there and exchanges stories with Red about the life in a cockpit. The difference is Jon flew modern jets versus Reds single prop planes (although single prop fighters like Hurricanes are impressive).
When one is in their advanced senior years and living within a bubble world, it doesn't take much to burst that bubble sending that person into a spiraling emotional downfall. Yesterday, Kerry's dad was looking forward to a trip to Costco with his daughter. Kerry suggested to me that she would like to attend a yoga class at the gym. In order to do this a slight change in the Costco scheduled trip would have to be made. Kerry and I talked about the options and there ended up only being two.
Option A...The plan stays as it is. Nothing changes and Kerry does not get to go to the yoga class.
Option B...We all go to Costco and be there when they open at 10:00am. At 10 minutes before 11:00am we have to make sure we are out of there (45 - 50 minutes of walking around shopping usually wears Red out). On the way home we would drop Kerry off at the gym. I would take Kerry's dad, and the groceries home and drop them off before returning to the gym where I would do a 3 mile run on the treadmill while Kerry finishes her class.
So, as Red was gathering his breakfast together I stood by him chatting. I brought up the topic of a slight schedule change (so Kerry could attend this new class she wanted to try out). Well, you would have thought that I wanted him to uproot his entire world. His bubble was burst and he didn't like it. His temper tantrum was his way of saying, "Stop Rocking My World or Why Are You Moving My Cheese?" He cursed and complained and wouldn't listen to anything anyone had to say. Needless to say, we went with Option A and Kerry didn't get to go to yoga class. We still went to the gym and after coming home and changing Kerry and her dad went to Costco, as planned.
Because he is in the situation he is in (cancer), I feel that it is okay for him to get what he wants, whenever he wants, as long as a) he is not at risk of hurting himself or others and b) he doesn't totally dominate those around him (like me). I am too strong willed to be intimidated by such behavior. Red's kids on the other hand all still feel the wrath of his words and attitude, when things don't go his way. Instead of backing down, I prefer to look him in the eye and ask, "So, how's that working for you?"
Red and I have great conversations because I can talk to him man to man instead of man to child. Now as far as Chris goes, she will always be within her own little bubble, one she seldom leaves. Just make sure her weekly-pill container is stocked, her meals are delivered (bananas with breakfast/apples with lunch/ice cream with dinner) and her newspaper is by her side.
Yes, it's just another day in paradise.
Today is Thursday and there are no doctors appointments, no errands, no emergencies (so far). This is a rare and joyous thing. We do have a friend coming over to visit Red at 1:00pm. His name is Jon and he is married to my publisher. Jon enjoys visiting with Kerry's dad. Being a fly boy himself, he sits there and exchanges stories with Red about the life in a cockpit. The difference is Jon flew modern jets versus Reds single prop planes (although single prop fighters like Hurricanes are impressive).
When one is in their advanced senior years and living within a bubble world, it doesn't take much to burst that bubble sending that person into a spiraling emotional downfall. Yesterday, Kerry's dad was looking forward to a trip to Costco with his daughter. Kerry suggested to me that she would like to attend a yoga class at the gym. In order to do this a slight change in the Costco scheduled trip would have to be made. Kerry and I talked about the options and there ended up only being two.
Option A...The plan stays as it is. Nothing changes and Kerry does not get to go to the yoga class.
Option B...We all go to Costco and be there when they open at 10:00am. At 10 minutes before 11:00am we have to make sure we are out of there (45 - 50 minutes of walking around shopping usually wears Red out). On the way home we would drop Kerry off at the gym. I would take Kerry's dad, and the groceries home and drop them off before returning to the gym where I would do a 3 mile run on the treadmill while Kerry finishes her class.
So, as Red was gathering his breakfast together I stood by him chatting. I brought up the topic of a slight schedule change (so Kerry could attend this new class she wanted to try out). Well, you would have thought that I wanted him to uproot his entire world. His bubble was burst and he didn't like it. His temper tantrum was his way of saying, "Stop Rocking My World or Why Are You Moving My Cheese?" He cursed and complained and wouldn't listen to anything anyone had to say. Needless to say, we went with Option A and Kerry didn't get to go to yoga class. We still went to the gym and after coming home and changing Kerry and her dad went to Costco, as planned.
Because he is in the situation he is in (cancer), I feel that it is okay for him to get what he wants, whenever he wants, as long as a) he is not at risk of hurting himself or others and b) he doesn't totally dominate those around him (like me). I am too strong willed to be intimidated by such behavior. Red's kids on the other hand all still feel the wrath of his words and attitude, when things don't go his way. Instead of backing down, I prefer to look him in the eye and ask, "So, how's that working for you?"
Red and I have great conversations because I can talk to him man to man instead of man to child. Now as far as Chris goes, she will always be within her own little bubble, one she seldom leaves. Just make sure her weekly-pill container is stocked, her meals are delivered (bananas with breakfast/apples with lunch/ice cream with dinner) and her newspaper is by her side.
Yes, it's just another day in paradise.
Loving the stories...keep them coming LOL :)
ReplyDeleteJustin