Busy Busy

Busy Busy . . .

Yesterday ended up being a busy one. It was great having Kerry home to help out. The day started with breakfast as usual. Then doctors appointments for Kerry’s mom and dad in the morning. After lunch Kerry’s folks  had massage appointments. Dinner at 5:30 followed by American Idol, followed by all of our heads hitting the pillow. Not to mention that we are getting our septic tank pumped out so in between all of the running around I had to dig up the clean out, in 90+ degree weather. I slept well last night. Today is a quiet day so other then having the "honey" wagon show up at 8am the only other thing I have to do is my daily gym routine. 

It has almost been two weeks now since I started this BLOG. My intention was to share with you what life is like when you live with and care for the aged. The most important thing for me (and for those of you who are also caring for an elderly person) to remember is that as long as they are capable of being independent and can still do things for themselves, then that freedom is what should be encouraged and praised. If there are portions of their daily activities that they can't do alone (big or small), then that is what the caring family is all about. 

I am going to shift now from daily entries to weekly updates…unless something specific comes up. Over the months (and hopefully years to follow) we will share with you what old age is all about, not only the bad, but the sweet as well.

I will continue to ask you to pray for Red, as so many of you already are. Our church will continue to honor those who are shut ins and for that we are grateful as well. 

When Red and I talked about this BLOG and sharing his experience with all of you, he smiled knowing that even though some of the stories may be funny while others are sad, if his life touches at least one of you, then he will feel blessed. From your replies, he knows now that he has been blessed many times.

We laughed when we were speaking with his Oncologist yesterday. Red said to him, "Even if you get me healthy I'm still going to die from something!" The doctor looked at him, puzzled yet encouraged at how easily Red was taking in all of this. Last night after dinner Red looked at me and asked if I was going to start a "pool" on what would kill him first. We laughed together while silently inside I was experiencing a totally different emotion. Kerry's mom said to me yesterday, "I can see a difference in Red. I don't want him to leave me." Nobody wants Red to leave...God is controlling that schedule of events...for all of us!

If you are caring for an elderly person and this BLOG helps you in some way to realize that you are not alone; your feelings and experiences are shared my many others…then my job is done and this BLOG will be deemed a success (not to mention the blessing for Red and his wife Chris...and Kerry and me as well).

Guts and Glory...

                     

Guts and Glory

Now, if you want to talk about intestinal fortitude, let me tell you a little more about Kerry’s dad (Red). Here is a guy who started flying before he became a teenager. At the age of 19, he not only enlisted into the RAF, he also was assigned a Hawker Hurricane and flew around Europe chasing the bad guys. Problem was, the bad guys were also chasing him. After being shot down in the south Pacific he ended up as a POW on the island of Java for the next 3 ½ years. (you can read about the day he got shot down on my Hunter Ink BLOG at  http://arizonacanadian.blogspot.com/p/read-4-free-wef-sampler.html) 

So, add up all of those dangerous, deadly experiences and throw in the near death experience he had just over a decade ago and you can see why this guy looks at his oncologist and says, “Don’t bother putting any icing on it. Just tell me what’s going on.” Red did not get any icing.

As his illness progresses, we will treat it as if it is our own cancer. After all, he is part of this family and when someone in the family hurts, we all hurt. When someone in the family dies, a part of us dies too. Don’t get me wrong. This posting isn’t about doom and gloom. Instead, it is to share a beautiful thing. Three months, a year or maybe even two, we will go through this together. 

Yes, he can be crabby at times. Did someone say hard headed? It has to be his way or the highway. Interesting thing is I am as hardheaded as he is and twice as stubborn. But together we seem to muddle through and I can tell you this, he is a lot braver than I am. I will try to learn from his example.

Tiny Bubbles...

Tiny Bubbles...

Kerry’s mom, Chris, has her moments of concern about her husband but they are far and few between. As I mentioned in an earlier BLOG (Is there a doctor in the house? March 23, 2012) she lives within her own bubble; that is her entire world. We never sat down and told her that her husband’s condition is dire or that she may one day (soon) become a widow. That was a conversation we felt that she and Red should have together, when Red thought the time was right; no sooner; no later. 

Chris was able to pick up little bits here and there while listening in on phone conversations with their daughter Tina or son John. Chris started wondering why Red was having so many extra doctor appointments. Finally Red told her that his prostate cancer treatment wasn’t working as well as they planned and they were now looking at other options. She heard, she pondered, then she quickly changed the subject. I think she was doing a crossword puzzle at the time and just refocused on the puzzle by immediately asking what a four letter word for a moons flow was (by the way, the answer was Tide). She preferred avoidance versus the reality that was facing her and her husband of 67 years.

One day, about a month or so after Red had “the talk” with her, she looked up at Kerry and said, “I am so sad about your dad. I don’t want him to leave me!” Those words sank deeply into Kerry’s core. Kerry replied as any Christian would, by listening and offering words of comfort. Kerry didn’t deny her mother’s claim that Red was going to die. Kerry knew the truth while her mom only knew the eventuality. 

We are planning on down playing Reds illness until the point when he can no longer do things for himself. That is the way he wants it and after all, it is his life and his wishes. Once we get to the point of having Hospice involved, and that day will come, we will make sure Chris is in the loop every step of the way. Our prayers will change from those of healing to those of comfort and understanding. 

But for now, those days are still ahead of us, a path we have not yet to cross. We will focus on the here and now and share in the laughter of the day to day closeness of family (and the stresses of caring for the aged). 

You never realize how special a gift is until it is gone. For Kerry and I, we see the gift clearly and bask in it each and every moment we can. So when that day comes, the day when we must cross that path into the valley of death, the day when our gift is gone, we will have no regrets; only happy and joyous memories.

 

Posted by RSHunter at 6:37 AM 0 comments

A Prayer for the Elderly

                

A Prayer for the Elderly

Yesterday, I was trying to figure out what to write today on my BLOG. Then it suddenly hit me; getting old, and dealing with the aches and pains of day to day life, just like everything else we experience in life, is a God thing. And since it is a God thing, the only responsible thing to write today would be a prayer for the elderly.

Father, we lift up the elderly to You. Those who are feeble, week, struggling, forgotten. Father, help us to see them and care for them through Your power. Bless them, Lord, and hold them close. Draw them near to You in their last days, and bless them with the peace that comes from knowing You.  In Jesus' name we ask these things. Amen.

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  Psalms 18:2

Now, go out there and hug an old person today...I know I will...

 

Posted by RSHunter at 6:54 AM 0 comments

Please don't burn down my house...

Please don't burn down my house...

Today is Saturday and with Kerry having the day off we are going to take advantage of this time to go out and have some fun. We try to do this whenever we can, as a means on maintaining our sanity. We have what we call our date night during the week which usually involves us going out for dinner somewhere or maybe a walk around downtown. A few hours away from the house does wonders for both Kerry and me.

This being a day with an opportunity for the two of us to play, we are planning on spending the day doing just that. First order of business, after everyone has eaten their breakfast will be for Kerry and me to head to the gym. After we work up a sweat, we will come home, shower and prepare for the rest of the day.

We signed up for a seminar which will run from 1:00pm until 5:00pm. So, before we leave we will make two lunch plates and serve them to Red and Chris by around 11:30am or so. A friend of ours is in town today attending a seminar (not the same one we are going to) and we are planning on going out for dinner with him this evening. We will all meet back here at the house at 5:50 or so then head out for an evening of fun conversation, good food, etc.

Now for the scary part. Trying to figure out something for dinner for Red and Chris was a challenge. Red will have to prepare the meal himself tonight. Red loves to cook and bake and he does complain that I don’t allow him enough time in the kitchen. I've watched Red cook before and it can be scary. Most of my concerns are based on two things; his poor eyesight and his mind sometimes wanders. I've seen him, with empty pan on burner, turn the element up on high and then start doing something else, forgetting about the pan. When I come in and turn the burner down I let him know that he forgot to keep an eye on it. He usually replies, "I didn't forget it. I wanted the pan hot. That's the way I like it." My reply is usually something like, "Oh, okay. Just don't burn down the house."  Pans can be easily replaced but a house (or even a kitchen) is a lot more complicated. And don't get me started about watching him toss the dish towel so it lands kind of close to a hot burner. Now I know starting a fire is not his intention. It is like I said earlier, his eye sight is poor and his mind sometimes wanders. When Red cooks Kerry or I try to be there standing by, just in case. For the most part Red does a good job cooking (somewhat messy, but good).

Well, as I mentioned above, we're going out for dinner and it was decided that Red will cook a DiGiorno frozen pizza. All he has to do is preheat the oven to 400 degrees and place the frozen pizza in the preheated oven, on the middle rack for 22 minutes. Using the pizza paddle will help him to retrieve it once it is cooked. Once sliced he and Chris can sit down and enjoy their meal. We will cut up a tomato and have it already plated for them to enjoy with their pizza. Ice cream bars are in the freezer.

Here is the reality of my concern. If he preheats the oven and leaves it on for a longer period of time, then no big deal - it's just wasted electricity. But, if he places the pizza in the oven and forgets about it, it could get a little smoky in the kitchen. All I can do it replace the batteries in our smoke detector and know that whatever happens, happens for a reason.  I guess I should make sure he knows where the fire extinguisher before we leave.
              

NFPA presents Dan Doofus in "Kitchen for Trouble"
 http://youtu.be/BMXOZw3QpQI   <--WATCH THIS 

Posted by RSHunter at 7:30 AM 0 comments

Reflections . . . of a good day

Reflections . . . of a good day

As I woke up I looked up at the ceiling wondering what I ws going to BLOG about today. Nothing was coming to me. I decided to just not think about it anymore and to turn it over to God. And I did...

First thing this morning, when Red got up, he came into the kitchen with a broad smile upon his face. As I said good morning to him he smiled back and replied, "Thank God for pain pills." That meant he had a good nights sleep and will most likely have an awesome day, even though it is a day of doctors appointments and procedures (light and laser treatments for his skin cancer).

Seeing him walk (with walker in hand) and having that certain skip to his step, I can't help but reflect on some of the good days we have enjoyed in the past (and there were many and by the grace of God, there will be many more).

One of the greatest days in recent history was the celebration of his 90th birthday (Nov 3rd, 2011). We had nephews, nieces, cousins, brothers, sisters, kids, grandkids, great grandkids, neighbors and friends visiting from all over. One of the nearby hotels was over run with the Campbell clan and our guest rooms were at capacity We even had our camper set up in the driveway to house the overflow.

I can go on and on about that wonderful day, but instead, I thought I would just show you the video.

Enjoy this video of the family celebrating Red; http://youtu.be/B514PYmYARY

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Be Blessed... 

Posted by RSHunter at 6:37 AM 0 comments