Richard S. Hunter: We knew the day would come

As I wrote in my previous post, instead of posting each and every day I kept a journal of the daily events, as they happened. I will finish telling Red's story by sharing my journal with you...

These are Red's final days and moments...

Sunday;
We knew that the day would come when one (or both) of Kerry’s parents would be bed-bound. Today was a difficult day for Red (Kerry’s dad). His mobility has gone down to ZERO. Even though we were able to transport him to his recliner in their living room, and then back to bed, his weight makes these maneuvers extremely difficult. There was a point today when listening to his heart and lungs Kerry and I looked at each other expecting that his remaining days are few. Chris (Kerry’s mom) recognized that her husband is not long for the world. When she said she would miss him I reminded her that soon enough the two of them would be dancing to the angelic tunes in Heaven. As Red was lifted into bed and properly positioned Kerry and I did a hands on prayer for the Lord to take him when He feels the time was right and that the remaining time here on earth be pain free and comfortable. We ended by confirming to Red that he has done a great job raising his family and taking care of his wife. There was no unfinished business here for him to worry about. We assured him that Kerry and I would take over for him once he was gone to insure that Chris also transitions to the hereafter in a graceful and spiritual way. The last thing Red said to me last night, as we got him finally tucked in was, “Don’t forget to put my gun beneath my pillow.” I looked up at Kerry, while answering, “Red, I’ll take care of everything,” meaning that this one thing I would not do. He smiled and immediately fell into a deep sleep. Praise God! Will he rebound like he has done so many times before?

Monday;
What a beautiful day I pondered as I lay in bed, basking in the fresh smells from outside that were making their way into my room. Kerry was already up. Then she called me over the intercom to come and help her with her dad. I jumped into action; somewhat confused as I was still half asleep, running down the hall. It was official – Red would not rebound. We now found ourselves thrust into the “next and final level” of elder care. Red lay there in his bed, eyes closed speaking broken sentences with barely audible words. His body was limp and sensitive to the touch. We gave him his medication to help him relax while we changed the sheets and his pulls ups. He isn’t interested in food at this time - - - only water. We will monitor him throughout the day to insure he is safe, comfortable and has “all” of his needs met. Kerry called the hospice facility and will arrange to have the RN stop by for an evaluation. We know the time is near. No longer are we looking at months or even weeks. I doubt if he will stay with us for more than a week. Together, all 4 of us prayed for God to come and take him home…Red prayed with us.

The hospice nurse came and after the evaluation suggested that we only concentrate on giving Red medications to make him comfortable…we were in agreement. We will also remove the capsule and pill forms of morphine so he doesn’t have to worry about swallowing – now his pain control will be in liquid form. She (the hospice RN) suggested that Red may have a day or two left in this mortal world. That brought a smile to his face. He is now sleeping peacefully, waiting his turn to enter those pearly gates. Chris, Kerry’s mom, crawled into bed with him for a few minutes and while holding onto each other, she told him that she loved him and that she would be okay…it was alright with her if he wanted to leave. Watching her let him go was the closure I think he needed. Now it is just a matter of time.

Tuesday;
Last night was interesting. Here I was, almost 2 hours after going to bed, I finally started to feel like I could go to sleep. I am lucky to be one of “those” people who can lay awake for hours and when I get up in the morning I feel completely rested. Just being in bed surrounded by the quiet of the night does it for me. Kerry on the other hand…well, let me just say a waking tiger is best left undisturbed.

So here I am finally fading off into that place where the mind starts dancing with fairy tales and fantasies. Then, just in front of me I saw a light, triangle in shape and I was drawn to it. I immediately snapped back to the reality of the here and now; my eyes wide open. I knew that the only reason I would dream of the “light” would be because Kerry’s dad (Red) was heading for the light himself. Since I always promised him that I would be his transition bubby, I needed to be there with him, to hold his hand, and walk him across the line between this mortal world and the heavenly one waiting for him. As I entered his room I was somewhat relieved to see (hear) him, snoring up a storm. I watched for almost 15 minutes before heading back to bed. Throughout the night Kerry and I took turns heading down to Red’s room-to watch-to pray.

Today he is still hanging on. His breathing is shallower and he is more sensitive to the touch, especially when we (Kerry, me and the hospice home health tech) tried to give him a sponge bath. He enjoyed the bath part but complained when we had to roll him from one side to the other so we could change his clothes and sheets. Right now (2pm) he is sleeping and seems to be very comfortable. He hasn’t taken any food or water today. Kerry tried to give him a piece of water melon yesterday but he found it to be too fibrous. We are now in a holding pattern, one that is controlled by God.

By 10:30pm Kerry and I were in bed trying to fall asleep. We did…eventually. At 11:55pm I suddenly woke up. I was seeing images of that triangle of light-the same one from night before. Without hesitation I jumped up, threw on a shirt and headed to Red’s bedroom to check up on him. His breathing was extremely shallow. I listened to him (and watched him) for a few minutes before going back to my bedroom to get Kerry. I knew there would not be much time left and I didn’t want her to miss “the event”…

Wednesday
As we monitored his pulse, Kerry and I watched as the clock struck midnight. Kerry joked yesterday that maybe he was simply waiting for August before going home. It was now August.

Minutes passed and his breathing continued to diminish. Red was comfortable even though his heart was racing trying to keep up with his bodies demands. Kerry and I sang hymns and prayed with hands-on intensity. I even performed a prayer that somewhat resembled the Last Rites. We continued to hold on to him, letting him know that it was okay to go. God heard our prayers. It was actually beautiful to watch Kerry guide her father through deaths portal and onto the other side.

At 12:15am Red (Poppi, Dad) took his last gasp for air. It was finished. He was now dancing on streets of gold, with all of those he loved who preceded him in death. After a prayer of thanks Kerry called her sister and brother to let them know that it was over. I called the on-call hospice nurse so she could come over and make the official pronouncement of death.

Chris (Kerry’s mom) slept in the bed next to Red’s as these events unfolded. We called her but she didn’t wake. After Red was gone Kerry woke up her mom and told her that it was over. We helped her from her bed and up onto her husbands, so she could give him one last touch. It was a very tender moment. She then left the bedroom to spend the rest of the night in the living room, in her recliner, in her comfort zone. She did end up back in her own bed with Kerry sleeping next to her (in her dad’s bed). I went back to my room to try and get some sleep (it was now 3:30am) and as I lay there, I turned on the tv…and the first thing I saw was a British sitcom called Are You Being Served – Red’s favorite show.

The records will show that John Acy Campbell III, born on November 3^rd, 1921 left this world to be with his maker on August 1^st, 2012 at 1:00am.

Thank you to all of you who held Red (and us) up in prayer. You are all a blessing to those Red left behind. We praise God for you.

My promise of being his transition buddy was now fulfilled.