Things that make you go hmmmm...

Things that make you go Hmmmm…

Can you believe it has already been a week since Red (Kerry’s dad) went on to a better place? He and Chris (Kerry’s mom) have been living with us for 2 years now and so not having Red around just doesn’t seem normal. There is something weird about not hearing him moving about. I feel like there is something missing in my day…something I am not doing! Then I realize, what is missing is Red and what I am not doing is all of the taking-care-of-Red routines that were part of my day; our day. 

 Now that we have finished our initial mourning, it is time to reflect on who Red Campbell was. There was a side of him that could make you split your sides open with laughter and there was another side of him that was aggressive and to the point. He was not one to mix words and if he had something to say, good or bad, the words would roll from his lips without censorship or regret. 

He once told me that you know you have made it to the top in business when you go into a bathroom stall and find your name written all over the place. He liked that.

 And don’t get me started on politics…there are certain things best left alone.

Remembering the man, (Red, John, Poppi, Dad) certain things pop to mind; things that are who he was. 

1)    His love for food – he had an amazing appetite right up to the end. Dinner time was always interesting. 

2)    His love for his wife was outstanding, even after 67 years of marriage. He had a covenant with God promising that he would take care of her for all of her days. He took that oath seriously.  One of the reasons he hung on for so long was his not willing to give up on his promise to God. We finally convinced him that by passing the baton to us, we would continue his work and care for his bride, as he did. He did finally let go.

3)    He was fearless. You have to be either brave or crazy to crawl into a small, tight cockpit and fly into a hornet’s nest of aircraft, all trying to kill you.  When the doctor first told him that his PSA levels were climbing and there was not much else they could do for him, he just looked the doctor in the eye and said, “Doc, don’t sugar coat it. How long do I have?” After he (we) got the answer, he wanted to go to Thunder Canyon for a fish and chips lunch washed down with a cold amber draft (his favorite). 

4)    When Red met with his oncologist and was told that his potassium levels were high and that he couldn’t eat bananas anymore, that was a big deal. Red loved his morning bananas. The same goes for being told that he couldn’t drink beer or wine because of the medications he would be taking. He never did drink alcohol again.

5)    The greatest gift of all, for me, was in being able to be a part of Reds final chapter. He trusted me and I loved him. We walked hand in hand through the valley of death, a place he knew all too well. It is a walk that we will all take one day and thanks to my friend John Acy Campbell III, when my time comes, I will be comforted in the fact that this is not a dark and scary place. It is a place of transition from one existence to another (a better one)…Praise God!

Here are a couple of family’s stories to share with you…

Erica – At his 90^th birthday party Red said to Erica that if he knew he would have lived so long, he would have taken better care of his body.

Justin - Here is a letter Justin wrote to his Poppi, the day he passed. It was titled My Hero,  

Dear Poppi,

As I sit here at my desk at work I can't help but think about you. Life is full of challenges and my life would not be the same if it wasn't for you. To simple say thanks would not be enough. You see Poppi, you are my hero. The struggles and sacrifices you have endured throughout your life have inspired me to dedicate my life in service of a greater cause. One day I pray I will be as much an inspiration to my grand children as you have been for me. I thank God that my wife and children were able to meet and know you the way I know you. What a great honor they have received in knowing a great man, who they can call "Poppi".

When Jesus was asked in Mark 12:8 what the most important commandment was he answered, " Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

God gave us such an easy commandment to follow when it comes to you, Poppi.

I love you,

Nicholas - During my last Christmas trip to Arizona,  Poppi and I made Lefse. Poppi helped give me some pointers on making it just right. It's hard to imagine that it was my last lesson from him in cooking. Today I started making some Lefse and Kristin helped me prepare to potatoes. I could feel that he was in my heart as I worked in the kitchen.

The memories I have of Poppi (and Nana) are one in the same. They had a blessed marriage. They were always together, they did everything together. My time with Poppi was always special and I always looked forward to the next time I would see him. 

I remember as a child, eating homemade Lefse while waiting for Poppi’s homemade pizza to come out of the oven. 

I remember walking around the golf course in Bonita, California and not being able to keep up because they were such fast power walkers. 

I remember when we went out to Point Loma Seafood. We would order fish sandwiches and feed French fries to the sea gulls. 

I remember everyone going down stairs at Poppi’s house and watching slide shows of their trips to other countries (including some 8mm movies on tiny reels). 

I remember playing computer games on his state of the art computer (lol) I think it was an IBM 64. 

I remember the Bronco he used to drive with sheep skin seats covers. 

I remember his collection of hats. 

I remember the love and time he spent with me when my mom was away and the times I spent the night over at his house. It was a comfort zone for me (a safe place).

I could go on and on about the things I remember about Poppi, but I won’t.  I will always cherish my Poppi. This is a very hard time for me because my Poppi always had something special to share with me. He loved to share his wisdom with others.

Yesterday I got a dvd my parents sent in the mail; it was very touching. This was my Poppi’s last words of wisdom he wanted to share with his Grandkids and Great Grandkids. His words were very uplifting and I'm thankful that Poppi had the time to make the dvd possible.

Kerry – Kerry reflects on how sweet it was to see her mom and dad going out for dinner and dancing every Saturday night. She admired that. Growing up Kerry felt that if she asked him for the moon, he would ask her, “Do you want one or two?” The reason Kerry moved back to San Diego in 1984 was to give her two boys a chance to grow up knowing their grandfather. They did and today Justin and Nick are better men for it. They adored their Poppi.

Richard – A week before his 90^th birthday Red wanted me to take him to the DMV to renew his driver’s license. As he leaned in to the machine to take his visual exam I stood behind him waving at the tech, mouthing the words No! No! No! – She looked up at me, smiled and then said to Red…”Pass” and stamped his paperwork. He now had a new driver’s license that won’t expire until November 2015. Are you kidding me? As we left the DMV I asked him if he wanted to drive – just so I could evaluate his driving skills. He said “Sure”   That was the scariest drive, EVER! It was also the last time Red drove  anything other than his scooter-chair. He just wanted to have his license in case he needed to get Chris to the hospital…I suggested dialing 911 would be a lot easier for him and far let dangerous for the other drivers on the streets of Tucson.

Up until Red passed, he still complained about things he lost during the yard sale his kids put together in order to lighten his possession-load before he moved to Tucson. I guess it was easier to say something about an item being sold without his knowing it versus looking around and trying to find it. On many occasions I would look for something he couldn’t find, only to find it right where it was supposed to be. The blame game…

Watching Red and Chris interact was sometimes comical. They both were experiencing diminished hearing and that lead to some very interesting interactions. Here is a sample of a conversation between Kerry’s mom and dad one morning after breakfast; 

Mom.      Do you want the newspaper?

Dad.       What? (groan)

Mom.      Did you say yes?

Dad.       I didn’t say anything! (moan)

Mom.     So was that a yes or a no?

Dad.       You need to go? (grunt)

Mom.      So, is that a no?

Dad.       Okay, if you say so. (cough)

Mom.      I’m not sure I understood.

Dad.       Chris…turn down that TV. I can’t hear a thing
                            you are saying (snort)

                          The TV is eventually muted...

Dad.       That’s better. Now I can hear what you are trying to say.

Mom.      Do you want the newspaper?

Dad.       What? (groan)

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up...

Here are some You Tube video postings accumulated over the years that show Red and his family enjoying life…

Last Eagle Sq reunion – San Diego (2006)      

 http://youtu.be/wAMSqfKxU3U

Jared in Tucson (Aug 2007)    

 http://youtu.be/eqwo76Ss4rU

Reds 86^th birthday (Nov 2007)      

http://youtu.be/w1HufUC9VNM

PRCA Lecture – Red speaks to teens (May 2008)     

http://youtu.be/8FgN6mGEZfk

RAF – DFC (May 2008)     

http://youtu.be/oOLLX0bzQ44

Where Eagles Fly commercial (Jan 2009)      

http://youtu.be/A_LYdf-hSEs

Erica and Jodi visit Tucson (Oct 2009)      

http://youtu.be/xweEDg4iYyk

Erica and Jodi visit Tucson (Nov 2010)    

 http://youtu.be/-0jpmheTA7o

Red 90^th birthday (Nov 2011)     

 http://youtu.be/B514PYmYARY    

To see a website of family pictures and video clips created by a couple of Red’s Grandkids (Nicholas and Erica), open Facebook and do a search for Red Eagle 121…enjoy the memories…

 

Coming Soon...

Thanks for being an important part of my BLOG. 

Without you my words would have no meaning. Be Blessed.

This is RSHunter signing off...for now...
until there is another story that needs to be told.

We knew the day would come

As I wrote in my previous post, instead of posting each and every day I kept a journal of the daily events, as they happened. I will finish telling Red's story by sharing my journal with you...

These are Red's final days and moments...

Sunday;                                                                                                                                                  
We knew that the day would come when one (or both) of Kerry’s parents would be bed-bound.  Today was a difficult day for Red (Kerry’s dad). His mobility has gone down to ZERO. Even though we were able to transport him to his recliner in their living room, and then back to bed, his weight makes these maneuvers extremely difficult. There was a point today when listening to his heart and lungs Kerry and I looked at each other expecting that his remaining days are few.  Chris (Kerry’s mom) recognized that her husband is not long for the world. When she said she would miss him I reminded her that soon enough the two of them would be dancing to the angelic tunes in Heaven. As Red was lifted into bed and properly positioned Kerry and I did a hands on prayer for the Lord to take him when He feels the time was right and that the remaining time here on earth be pain free and comfortable. We ended by confirming to Red that he has done a great job raising his family and taking care of his wife. There was no unfinished business here for him to worry about. We assured him that Kerry and I would take over for him once he was gone to insure that Chris also transitions to the hereafter in a graceful and spiritual way. The last thing Red said to me last night, as we got him finally tucked in was, “Don’t forget to put my gun beneath my pillow.” I looked up at Kerry, while answering, “Red, I’ll take care of everything,” meaning that this one thing I would not do. He smiled and immediately fell into a deep sleep. Praise God! Will he rebound like he has done so many times before?

Monday;                                                                                                                                             
What a beautiful day I pondered as I lay in bed, basking in the fresh smells from outside that were making their way into my room. Kerry was already up. Then she called me over the intercom to come and help her with her dad. I jumped into action; somewhat confused as I was still half asleep, running down the hall.  It was official – Red would not rebound. We now found ourselves thrust into the “next and final level” of elder care. Red lay there in his bed, eyes closed speaking broken sentences with barely audible words. His body was limp and sensitive to the touch.  We gave him his medication to help him relax while we changed the sheets and his pulls ups. He isn’t interested in food at this time - - - only water. We will monitor him throughout the day to insure he is safe, comfortable and has “all” of his needs met. Kerry called the hospice facility and will arrange to have the RN stop by for an evaluation. We know the time is near. No longer are we looking at months or even weeks. I doubt if he will stay with us for more than a week. Together, all 4 of us prayed for God to come and take him home…Red prayed with us. 

The hospice nurse came and after the evaluation suggested that we only concentrate on giving Red medications to make him comfortable…we were in agreement. We will also remove the capsule and pill forms of morphine so he doesn’t have to worry about swallowing – now his pain control will be in liquid form. She (the hospice RN) suggested that Red may have a day or two left in this mortal world. That brought a smile to his face. He is now sleeping peacefully, waiting his turn to enter those pearly gates. Chris, Kerry’s mom, crawled into bed with him for a few minutes and while holding onto each other, she told him that she loved him and that she would be okay…it was alright with her if he wanted to leave. Watching her let him go was the closure I think he needed. Now it is just a matter of time. 

Tuesday;                                                                                                                                               
Last night was interesting. Here I was, almost 2 hours after going to bed, I finally started to feel like I could go to sleep. I am lucky to be one of “those” people who can lay awake for hours and when I get up in the morning I feel completely rested. Just being in bed surrounded by the quiet of the night does it for me. Kerry on the other hand…well, let me just say a waking tiger is best left undisturbed. 

So here I am finally fading off into that place where the mind starts dancing with fairy tales and fantasies. Then, just in front of me I saw a light, triangle in shape and I was drawn to it. I immediately snapped back to the reality of the here and now; my eyes wide open. I knew that the only reason I would dream of the “light” would be because Kerry’s dad (Red) was heading for the light himself. Since I always promised him that I would be his transition bubby, I needed to be there with him, to hold his hand, and walk him across the line between this mortal world and the heavenly one waiting for him. As I entered his room I was somewhat relieved to see (hear) him, snoring up a storm. I watched for almost 15 minutes before heading back to bed. Throughout the night Kerry and I took turns heading down to Red’s room-to watch-to pray. 

Today he is still hanging on. His breathing is shallower and he is more sensitive to the touch, especially when we (Kerry, me and the hospice home health tech) tried to give him a sponge bath. He enjoyed the bath part but complained when we had to roll him from one side to the other so we could change his clothes and sheets. Right now (2pm) he is sleeping and seems to be very comfortable. He hasn’t taken any food or water today. Kerry tried to give him a piece of water melon yesterday but he found it to be too fibrous. We are now in a holding pattern, one that is controlled by God. 

By 10:30pm Kerry and I were in bed trying to fall asleep. We did…eventually. At 11:55pm I suddenly woke up. I was seeing images of that triangle of light-the same one from night before. Without hesitation I jumped up, threw on a shirt and headed to Red’s bedroom to check up on him. His breathing was extremely shallow. I listened to him (and watched him) for a few minutes before going back to my bedroom to get Kerry. I knew there would not be much time left and I didn’t want her to miss “the event”…

Wednesday                                                                                                                                             
As we monitored his pulse, Kerry and I watched as the clock struck midnight. Kerry joked yesterday that maybe he was simply waiting for August before going home. It was now August.

Minutes passed and his breathing continued to diminish. Red was comfortable even though his heart was racing trying to keep up with his bodies demands. Kerry and I sang hymns and prayed with hands-on intensity. I even performed a prayer that somewhat resembled the Last Rites. We continued to hold on to him, letting him know that it was okay to go. God heard our prayers. It was actually beautiful to watch Kerry guide her father through deaths portal and onto the other side. 

At 12:15am Red (Poppi, Dad) took his last gasp for air. It was finished. He was now dancing on streets of gold, with all of those he loved who preceded him in death. After a prayer of thanks Kerry called her sister and brother to let them know that it was over. I called the on-call hospice nurse so she could come over and make the official pronouncement of death. 

Chris (Kerry’s mom) slept in the bed next to Red’s as these events unfolded. We called her but she didn’t wake. After Red was gone Kerry woke up her mom and told her that it was over. We helped her from her bed and up onto her husbands, so she could give him one last touch. It was a very tender moment. She then left the bedroom to spend the rest of the night in the living room, in her recliner, in her comfort zone. She did end up back in her own bed with Kerry sleeping next to her (in her dad’s bed). I went back to my room to try and get some sleep (it was now 3:30am) and as I lay there, I turned on the tv…and the first thing I saw was a British sitcom called Are You Being Served – Red’s favorite show. 

The records will show that John Acy Campbell III, born on November 3^rd, 1921 left this world to be with his maker on August 1^st, 2012 at 1:00am. 

Thank you to all of you who held Red (and us) up in prayer. You are all a blessing to those Red left behind. We praise God for you. 

My promise of being his transition buddy was now fulfilled.

                                        Red and Chris (newlyweds) Dec 1945

 

Red (at 98 lbs), shortly after being liberated from 3 1/2 years as a POW on Java  

 Red loved his steak

 

Cheers