The Blame Game . . .

The Blame Game…

This morning, while Red (Kerry’s dad) still slept, Kerry served her mom (Chris) her breakfast. Once the call came that she was done and she wanted her tray removed, I went into their living room to get the tray. I also brought in Red’s breakfast tray so it would be there waiting for him once he wakes up. So far so good. I headed back to my seat next to Kerry.

While sitting with Kerry in our own living room, I heard a sound (not a normal sound) and immediately knew something was wrong. As I headed into Kerry’s parents living room I called for Kerry to join me. She did. As we arrived the first thing we saw was Chris in her porta potty, slumped to one side. Don’t worry, she wasn’t passed out or anything like that. Apparently, as she was sitting down to use her potty, she slipped and sort of fell into her porta potty, landing in a somewhat awkward position. 

Yesterday, we changed the room around a bit. She used to sit on the left side with a table between her and Red’s recliner. On the right hand side of Red’s recliner was another table (just to give him a place to put his stuff since Chris took over the middle table with all of her stuff).  The problem with this set up was that Chris was sitting right in the line of the AC air flow and was constantly complaining about the temp being either too cold or too warm. Her continual pestering to her husband to turn on or off the AC unit was getting to him. She didn’t like the temp in the room, no matter where it was set and he didn’t like being constantly disturbed to try and satisfy her comfort needs. So, I came up with the idea of flipping the seats around, putting her out of the airflow all together. We also gave her the remote for the AC unit so she can now be the one to control the temp in the room. So far so good.

Now, her issue is having her drinking water on the left side of her instead of the right. My feeling is that she can and should adapt to the change. After all, what is worse, having to use her other had to reach for something or feeling too cold or warm all the time?

So, when she had her fall into the potty seat today the first thing she did was complain about everything being on the wrong side and that was why she slipped and fell. And if one didn’t know her, they would easily see her point and assume it to be reasonable. Here are the facts; the old way…her porta potty was right next to her chair with nothing behind it. She has fallen into it before only to have it slide along the floor. Now, the porta potty is up against a wall (it isn’t going anywhere and because of its position today, her slip this morning resulted in her not being seriously injured). Other than that, the main contributor to her slipping today was this; as she went to sit on her porta potty, she didn’t set the brakes on her walker. As she started sitting down her walker simply rolled away from her leaving her with nothing to lean on – thus, she fell, luckily into a porta potty that was positioned up against a wall. She did have a little bleeder on her right leg causing blood to run down her leg pooling onto the floor beneath her feet. She was complaining that her feet were slipping (of course they were, she was spreading her blood all over the floor). It seemed worse than it actually was…she is on asprin for blood thinning and so when she gets a cut, regardless how small, she bleeds well. No matter how many times I asked her to just sit there and not to move so we could dress her wound, she continued to try and stand up. I positioned myself in front of her – she wasn’t going anywhere until we were ready for her to move. Safety first!

Was her fall a result of the moved furniture? Was there a reason other than her own misjudgment that caused her to slip? Does the responsibility land upon the shoulders of anyone else? It’s the blame game.

Oh, one more thing. As I was finishing off this BLOG we heard a loud call from the PA system from Red for help. My immediate thought was, “Why do they both always have issues at the same time? Is it a conspiracy?” All Red wanted to know is why he couldn’t find his shorts or shirt (which are usually laid out for him). I reminded him that today was his shower day so until then, he would have to wear his jammies. It took him a moment to process the information…”What day is it” he asked. I told him and he smiled as he headed out to have his breakfast.

6 days to go before our vacation . . .  and counting

Oh Canada...and stuff

Oh Canada…and stuff

Well, let’s start with the folks and how they are doing…Kerry’s dad (Red) is having some pretty good days. This is his cycle; he will have a few good days then everything seems to crash leaving him feeling lousy for a few days. It is a constant roller coaster ride and he hates it. When he has those good days he thinks he can do so much when in fact he still tires easily. We suggested to him that when he is having those ‘good’ days, he should relax and enjoy the time he has without pain and discomfort. He agreed and today, like yesterday, he is taking it easy even though he feels like he can do more. 

When I got a call last night for help by Chris (Kerry’s mom) I found her half-way standing, her lower body over the side of the bed and her upper body on top of the bed…she was stuck and couldn’t move. She had gotten up to use the potty and couldn’t make it back into her bed. She needed help and her calling out for me was broadcasted throughout the house (VOX P.A. system). I tried to allow her to do crawl up into bed herself, which she could not do. I ended up picking her up in my arms and placed her back in the middle of her bed. As she lay there, she started to complain about her little round pillow. For the last 1 ½ years she used this pillow to snuggle with and suddenly, within the last week, she started complaining about her pillow, and how it is too big with the pillow case around it.  In the middle of the night, last night, while I placed her back within the safety of her bed, she started on again about her pillow. I suggested that she not worry about her pillow now, but instead she should focus on being happy she didn’t get hurt when she was out of the bed. She fell asleep immediately. First thing this morning when Kerry went in to get her up, Chris brought up the pillow. I guess Kerry and her will figure it all out. 

As Chris was finally falling back to sleep, Red came out of the bathroom. He was in there the entire time I was dealing with his wife. When he saw me he cried out for help. He wasn’t sure he could make it back to his bed, he wasn’t sure he could find his oxygen cannula, he wasn’t sure where his water was and of course he wasn’t sure of what was going on. I took care of his needs before heading back to bed myself. As I left the room I asked him if he had everything he needed and he replied, “I think I’ve got it all under control.  Good night.”

My prayer today is for national pride;

Oh heavenly Father, I bow before you and give you praise for this wonderful country America. It has been so good to me, and millions of others. She shines like a beacon to the world, as You do, and for that, humanity is grateful. Lord, I also give you praise for my home nation Canada. The pride that flows through my veins is exciting and  powerful. I am so blessed to have been born a Canadian and I will take that pride with me to the grave. I ask you Lord to Bless all of my fellow Canadian and American brothers and sisters on this birthday weekend. May your light continue to shine and illuminate, especially for those still stuck and lost within the darkness of a life without you. For all of these things I drop to my knees and pray, in your Sons name, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Less than 10 days before we are on vacation . . . and counting

So, on a lighter note…Happy Birthday Canada. Man oh man it feels good to be a Canadian…

Check these 3 videos out.

 

 

Ships Ahoy...

Ships Ahoy…

This was probably the roughest week so far. Chris (Kerry’s mom) is starting to get around a little more on her own but still her needs are great. Between Kerry and I, we’ve got it covered.

Kerry’s dad (Red) started the week with a near fall. His balance is almost totally gone. He is now using oxygen 98% of the time. When asked if his pain is getting worse, his reply is simply, “The pain I can handle. It’s the weakness that irritates me.” Once he is on his feet, he can get around (slowly) but it is the getting up part that takes its toll.

On the bright side. Kerry’s sister (Tina) is coming to Tucson on July 9^th, giving Kerry and I a much needed vacation. Last year (in July) we flew to Seattle to visit Justin’s family. Then we flew to Nick’s place in Alabama and from there we dropped down to Key West for a little quiet time. This year we are going to take an Alaskan cruise. We leave for Seattle on July 10^th and will have a couple of days with the grandkids before the ship pulls out. Sadly, we will miss seeing Nick and his gang. At least we got to see him last November when he travelled to Tucson to help celebrate Red’s 90^th birthday.

Tina (Christina) gets HUGE BIG MASSIVE points from us for stepping up to the plate (once again) to give us a much needed break from our daily routines.

On another note…Kerry had one more epidural last week and so far, so good. She has been dealing with so many stresses lately (her 3 eye surgeries…yes 3, getting news that Justin was being posted to the middle east (again), her back injury at work, her blephrospasm condition and the massive dose of botox she received to help calm the spasms–and ending up having to deal with horific side effects (and her needing these shots once every four months...for life), her parents both being signed up for in-home hospice and all that goes along with that, and a few other stresses to top it all off…She started a 2 month leave from work to help her regroup. Sounds like a good reason to sit on a ship and have her spoiled for a couple of weeks…Ships ahoy.

My prayer today is for the Gifts God bestows upon us;

Great Father and Merciful One, Kerry and I give you praise for the light you cast upon this dark journey we find ourselves taking. If it wasn’t for your light we would simply perish in the darkness but we fear not. Instead we boldly venture forward excited about each step ahead. Like in Job, when he thought all was lost, it was yet only the beginning of a great thing. We praise you Lord for the beginning You have in store for us. Praises to you for the trip we will soon be taking and we ask for safe travel mercies.

We pray for all of these things in the name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen

A Salute to those who served...

A Salute to those who served… 

A few days ago (last Thursday) we got a call over the intercom at 5:20am, “Help Help Help…She’s gone down” ... We jumped into action ...

That was Red (Kerry’s dad) calling us to come and help get Chris up off of the floor. When Kerry and I arrived we found Chris next to her bed, on her knees, holding onto her walker. She looked like she was kneeling in prayer.

We checked for injuries before moving her. I picked her up and sat her on the edge of her bed. She was like a limp noodle, totally surrendering to her cirumstance. As our grip slowly released, she started sliding once again back down-we stopped her quickly, before she ended up back onto the floor.

As far as injuries went, everything was fine, except for a few booboo's. She also complained that her foot was a little sore. By the time we got her to her recliner, her foot started to swell up a bit. We treated her foot with ice while dressing her other wounds. Both her and Red's skin is extremely fragile and easily damaged.

This was the day of her shower and massage by the hospice nurses’ aide (ery Monday and Thusday). We called in to report the fall to the hospice nurse on duty. Chris had a sponge bath in her chair and the RN on duty came by to evaluate. An x-ray was ordered. The technician showed up at 4:45pm and took a few shots of the foot and ankle from various angles.

We were told on Friday that there were no broken bones. So, all we need to do is manage the pain and be thankful that there wasn’t anything broken.

On Wednesday, the day before the fall, the hospice chaplain and social worker came by to honor Chris and Red for their time served in the armed forces (the Navy WAVES for Chris and the British RAF for Red). They were given a small framed thank you note and a blanket. That made their day.

My prayer today is a simple one;

Thank you, Jesus for minor injuries when they could have been much worse. Praise God for healing. We give You praise for being able to be there to help Red and Chris live out their days surrounded with love. Give us strength Lord to continue on this course for as long as you deem it necessary. As we bow down to You, we humbly follow Your path, and we do this in the name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen

Will Walk 4 Food

As you may remember, I used to get up in the middle of the night to answer Red’s call for help (see my BLOG posting Sleep Walker, Tuesday May 8^th). Last night, around 1am our new intercom system came alive with Chris (Kerry’s mom) calling for her husband (Red). Because their intercom module is voice activated (VOX), her calling out “Red” over and over again was broadcast to our bedroom module. We (Kerry and I) sprang into action.

As we arrived in the kitchen we found Red sitting at the dining room table finishing off a plate of yogurt with ketchup and left over stir fry (all mixed together). Usually, one would think that he just woke up hungry and wanted a snack. But when he started talking about his waking up and wanting to eat some of the leftovers from our catered meal the night before, one might ask if he was in fact fully awake or simply sleep walking.

The call from Chris was simply her waking up to see that he was not in his bed. Her calling out his name was her way of trying to ask him if he was okay (she thought he was in the bathroom). Apparently when he got up he turned on a bunch of lights, waking up his Chris in the process.

The events of last night were a first, just like this morning when he entered his living room. He put on his oxygen nasal prongs and went to the table to eat his breakfast…problem was, the oxygen generator is on the other side of the room next to his recliner. When I got the call from Chris that Red needed some help, I once again sprung into action. Upon entering the room I found Red sitting at his table, eating his meal with the oxygen tube tightly stretched across the room about 4 feet off of the floor, going from his nose to the generator. He looked content even though the machine wasn’t on. He seemed surprised when I reminded him that he usually eats first then sits in his chair with the oxygen running. He was still a little confused but eventually the cobwebs started to clear and now it is all as it should be, loud tv, recliners reclined, and snoring abound.

A Shave and a Haircut...

A Shave and a Hair Cut…

Twice a week the hospice nurse’s aide will show up to help Red and Chris shower and take care of any other hygiene needs they may have (shaving, foot and leg massage, nails polished, etc). Chris get her treatments on Mondays and Thursdays and Red gets his on Tuesday and Fridays.

Last week, on Friday, Red got up and automatically went in and shaved and showered, forgetting that someone was coming over to help him. When the nurse’s aide arrived she was surprised to see a clean and dressed client sitting in his chair watching tv. Now, when she leaves after taking care of Chris, she will look over at Red and remind him to wait for her instead of heading to the shower on his own. Today, his day to shower, he is sitting there in his night shirt, knowing that he will have to wait until 8:30am before he can get dressed (after his shower and shave). He doesn't like waiting!

Last Friday I pulled out the hair clippers and set up a chair in Red’s living room. I asked the nurse’s aide if she would cut his hair. She said, “No.” Apparently they don’t do hair. I was surprised but understood why. On Monday I went ahead and gave Red a haircut. He enjoyed the attention, the sitting outside in the fresh air, the removal of those long hairs on the back of his neck and eye brows and especially the brushing off when my work was done (or should I say sweeping off?)

Chris is waking up each morning now calling for help getting dressed. Her energy level is low in the mornings but as the day goes on, she bounces back to her usual self. Yesterday I was glad to see her on her exercise bike (she used to do this at least twice a day).

We set up an intercom system with a unit in our living room, one in our bedroom, one between their chairs in their living room and one mounted on the wall between their beds. The one in their bedroom is VOX activated. They don’t have to push any buttons. All they need to do is call out (loud enough for the system to pick up their call) and their voice gets broadcasted to all of the other units. Red is technical minded so he gets the concept of how the system works. If they are in their living room, and want to call me, he knows to push the button, wait for the beep, say what he has to say and then release the button so I can reply. Chris on the other hand, gets a little confused. She will push the button, hold it down and call out, over and over again. I can hear Red (in the back ground) trying to get her to release the button so I can reply. At least she got the “hold-the-button” concept. Having the hands-free set up in their bedroom (VOX) makes it a no-brainer, if we are needed in the middle of the night.

One might ask, "Why not set up their living room unit on VOX (hands free) as well? The answer is ... That's not going to happen. They listen to their tv loud enough as it is. I can clearly hear their tv from my living room. A lot of tmes I have to close the doors between our part of the house and theirs, to muffle the sound. Some times I just ask them to turn their tv down and other times, if they are both sleeping while watching tv, I will just lower their volume myself. If we set their living room unit to VOX, the loud volumed program they are watching would be picked up by the intercom, broadcasting their tv show throughout the house.

The travellers...

What a great way to end a week. My brother David and his wife Nancy (from Nanaimo, British Columbia) and Nancy’s sister Pat (from Ontario, Canada) arrived on Friday. It is always a joyous time for me to be with family, especially since I get so little time with them. I love being around other Canadians, who speak the way I do, who share my sense of humor and who have a deep and personal history shared with me.

Being the care giver for Chris and Red (Kerry’s mom and dad) I find myself on duty 24/7. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being here to care for them. I look at it as my job and a rewarding one at that. But getting time to myself is a rare treat and when those opportunities do come up, I “always” take full advantage of them. Yesterday we took our guest up to Sabino Canyon, taking the tram for a round trip ride. Fun! Today we went to the Sonora Desert Museum and got to see some animals, birds, snakes, lizards, bugs and of course hundreds of varieties of cactus.

My heart over flows with joy…my prayer today is for our guest;

Lord, hear my prayer. We praise you for your blessings on Kerry’s mom and dad and for the time we have left with them.  Also we give You praise for the arrival of my family, coming to share this time with us. They understand the heavy weight we carry upon our shoulders as they too, carried the same weight as they helped my mom leave this world and enter into yours. Lord, guard my family near and far and protect them from the darkness that threatens all of us. As we live each and every day, Kerry and I bow before you and give You the praise for all that we have. And we do so in the name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.