A Salute to those who served...

A Salute to those who served… 

A few days ago (last Thursday) we got a call over the intercom at 5:20am, “Help Help Help…She’s gone down” ... We jumped into action ...

That was Red (Kerry’s dad) calling us to come and help get Chris up off of the floor. When Kerry and I arrived we found Chris next to her bed, on her knees, holding onto her walker. She looked like she was kneeling in prayer.

We checked for injuries before moving her. I picked her up and sat her on the edge of her bed. She was like a limp noodle, totally surrendering to her cirumstance. As our grip slowly released, she started sliding once again back down-we stopped her quickly, before she ended up back onto the floor.

As far as injuries went, everything was fine, except for a few booboo's. She also complained that her foot was a little sore. By the time we got her to her recliner, her foot started to swell up a bit. We treated her foot with ice while dressing her other wounds. Both her and Red's skin is extremely fragile and easily damaged.

This was the day of her shower and massage by the hospice nurses’ aide (ery Monday and Thusday). We called in to report the fall to the hospice nurse on duty. Chris had a sponge bath in her chair and the RN on duty came by to evaluate. An x-ray was ordered. The technician showed up at 4:45pm and took a few shots of the foot and ankle from various angles.

We were told on Friday that there were no broken bones. So, all we need to do is manage the pain and be thankful that there wasn’t anything broken.

On Wednesday, the day before the fall, the hospice chaplain and social worker came by to honor Chris and Red for their time served in the armed forces (the Navy WAVES for Chris and the British RAF for Red). They were given a small framed thank you note and a blanket. That made their day.

My prayer today is a simple one;

Thank you, Jesus for minor injuries when they could have been much worse. Praise God for healing. We give You praise for being able to be there to help Red and Chris live out their days surrounded with love. Give us strength Lord to continue on this course for as long as you deem it necessary. As we bow down to You, we humbly follow Your path, and we do this in the name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen

Will Walk 4 Food

As you may remember, I used to get up in the middle of the night to answer Red’s call for help (see my BLOG posting Sleep Walker, Tuesday May 8^th). Last night, around 1am our new intercom system came alive with Chris (Kerry’s mom) calling for her husband (Red). Because their intercom module is voice activated (VOX), her calling out “Red” over and over again was broadcast to our bedroom module. We (Kerry and I) sprang into action.

As we arrived in the kitchen we found Red sitting at the dining room table finishing off a plate of yogurt with ketchup and left over stir fry (all mixed together). Usually, one would think that he just woke up hungry and wanted a snack. But when he started talking about his waking up and wanting to eat some of the leftovers from our catered meal the night before, one might ask if he was in fact fully awake or simply sleep walking.

The call from Chris was simply her waking up to see that he was not in his bed. Her calling out his name was her way of trying to ask him if he was okay (she thought he was in the bathroom). Apparently when he got up he turned on a bunch of lights, waking up his Chris in the process.

The events of last night were a first, just like this morning when he entered his living room. He put on his oxygen nasal prongs and went to the table to eat his breakfast…problem was, the oxygen generator is on the other side of the room next to his recliner. When I got the call from Chris that Red needed some help, I once again sprung into action. Upon entering the room I found Red sitting at his table, eating his meal with the oxygen tube tightly stretched across the room about 4 feet off of the floor, going from his nose to the generator. He looked content even though the machine wasn’t on. He seemed surprised when I reminded him that he usually eats first then sits in his chair with the oxygen running. He was still a little confused but eventually the cobwebs started to clear and now it is all as it should be, loud tv, recliners reclined, and snoring abound.

A Shave and a Haircut...

A Shave and a Hair Cut…

Twice a week the hospice nurse’s aide will show up to help Red and Chris shower and take care of any other hygiene needs they may have (shaving, foot and leg massage, nails polished, etc). Chris get her treatments on Mondays and Thursdays and Red gets his on Tuesday and Fridays.

Last week, on Friday, Red got up and automatically went in and shaved and showered, forgetting that someone was coming over to help him. When the nurse’s aide arrived she was surprised to see a clean and dressed client sitting in his chair watching tv. Now, when she leaves after taking care of Chris, she will look over at Red and remind him to wait for her instead of heading to the shower on his own. Today, his day to shower, he is sitting there in his night shirt, knowing that he will have to wait until 8:30am before he can get dressed (after his shower and shave). He doesn't like waiting!

Last Friday I pulled out the hair clippers and set up a chair in Red’s living room. I asked the nurse’s aide if she would cut his hair. She said, “No.” Apparently they don’t do hair. I was surprised but understood why. On Monday I went ahead and gave Red a haircut. He enjoyed the attention, the sitting outside in the fresh air, the removal of those long hairs on the back of his neck and eye brows and especially the brushing off when my work was done (or should I say sweeping off?)

Chris is waking up each morning now calling for help getting dressed. Her energy level is low in the mornings but as the day goes on, she bounces back to her usual self. Yesterday I was glad to see her on her exercise bike (she used to do this at least twice a day).

We set up an intercom system with a unit in our living room, one in our bedroom, one between their chairs in their living room and one mounted on the wall between their beds. The one in their bedroom is VOX activated. They don’t have to push any buttons. All they need to do is call out (loud enough for the system to pick up their call) and their voice gets broadcasted to all of the other units. Red is technical minded so he gets the concept of how the system works. If they are in their living room, and want to call me, he knows to push the button, wait for the beep, say what he has to say and then release the button so I can reply. Chris on the other hand, gets a little confused. She will push the button, hold it down and call out, over and over again. I can hear Red (in the back ground) trying to get her to release the button so I can reply. At least she got the “hold-the-button” concept. Having the hands-free set up in their bedroom (VOX) makes it a no-brainer, if we are needed in the middle of the night.

One might ask, "Why not set up their living room unit on VOX (hands free) as well? The answer is ... That's not going to happen. They listen to their tv loud enough as it is. I can clearly hear their tv from my living room. A lot of tmes I have to close the doors between our part of the house and theirs, to muffle the sound. Some times I just ask them to turn their tv down and other times, if they are both sleeping while watching tv, I will just lower their volume myself. If we set their living room unit to VOX, the loud volumed program they are watching would be picked up by the intercom, broadcasting their tv show throughout the house.

The travellers...

What a great way to end a week. My brother David and his wife Nancy (from Nanaimo, British Columbia) and Nancy’s sister Pat (from Ontario, Canada) arrived on Friday. It is always a joyous time for me to be with family, especially since I get so little time with them. I love being around other Canadians, who speak the way I do, who share my sense of humor and who have a deep and personal history shared with me.

Being the care giver for Chris and Red (Kerry’s mom and dad) I find myself on duty 24/7. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being here to care for them. I look at it as my job and a rewarding one at that. But getting time to myself is a rare treat and when those opportunities do come up, I “always” take full advantage of them. Yesterday we took our guest up to Sabino Canyon, taking the tram for a round trip ride. Fun! Today we went to the Sonora Desert Museum and got to see some animals, birds, snakes, lizards, bugs and of course hundreds of varieties of cactus.

My heart over flows with joy…my prayer today is for our guest;

Lord, hear my prayer. We praise you for your blessings on Kerry’s mom and dad and for the time we have left with them.  Also we give You praise for the arrival of my family, coming to share this time with us. They understand the heavy weight we carry upon our shoulders as they too, carried the same weight as they helped my mom leave this world and enter into yours. Lord, guard my family near and far and protect them from the darkness that threatens all of us. As we live each and every day, Kerry and I bow before you and give You the praise for all that we have. And we do so in the name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

To The Other Side...And Back

To The Other Side…And Back

So far this week has been an easy one. Kerry is back to work and all of the routines are running like clockwork. Sure, there have been a few “moments” now and then but nothing out of the ordinary. That is until last night.

While we were giving Kerry’s dad his 8pm pills, he looked rather pale and his lips were without color. Obviously he needed more oxygen. As I dialed up the oxygen generator, he told me that he felt a bubbling when he took in a breath. I listened to his chest and heard nothing…not to say there wasn’t anything there. He was experiencing coughing and it did sound congested. Kerry asked him if he ever felt this way before and Red immediately remembered his having phenomena a decade ago, and the feeling was much the same, but this time without the pain.

Back, eleven years ago, just after Kerry and I moved to Tucson from San Diego, Red went to an Eagle Squadron reunion in Midland, Texas. During the entire event Red just wasn’t feeling his usual cheerful self. He thought he was coming down with a bad cold. He spent most of his time in the hotel room, instead of enjoying the festivities of the reunion. By the time he got home, he was feeling worse. His doctor thought maybe it was phenomena and prescribed antibiotics-they didn’t help. Red was becoming seriously ill. He was admitted into the ICU and was eventually diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. He was drowning in his own fluids (from the inside). It was during this event that he experienced his “near death” event. Yes, Red went to heaven and saw what was on the other side. We wrote about the out-of-body experience in my first book *Where Eagles Fly. Here is a sample from the book;

During the five days in ICU, Red only had a few memories, one of which would change his life, forever. He does remember briefly being conscience now and then, only to be followed by the blackness of drug induced sleep. During one of these blackout times, before him, appeared an apparition. It wasn’t the blinding white light everyone talks about when they experience a near death episode. This was different. It was as if the fabric of time was torn. Within the tear, he could see the hole getting bigger and bigger. Inside the tear, there was a beautiful brightness, but it wasn’t blinding. Within the brightness there were people milling about. Some were playing, others just walking to and fro. At the edge of the rift, on the right hand side, was a figure of a woman, standing with her back towards Red. She was looking at the crowd just like Red. Her frame was silhouetted, so not too many details could be seen. Red did notice that her hair was long and black; she looked exactly like his mom.

Red wanted to see more. It was extremely inviting and he felt that he was being drawn in closer and closer. Red was passing over into the other side. Then suddenly, he couldn’t go any further. It was as if his mother was standing guard at the gates to heaven, preventing her son from entering. Red had unfinished business on earth and wouldn’t be allow to enter just yet. The next thing Red knew, he was waking up in the ICU.

He remembered every detail of the vision. He could still feel the warmth and the love that this place was offering him and all those who passed. From that day forward, Red would never fear death again. He now knows what is on the other side and it is beautiful. God had given him the gift, so he could be at peace while he takes care of his responsibilities in the world of mortal beings. He had to take care of his wife, Chris, who was slowly giving in to the limitations of her osteoporosis and scoliosis. Together the two of them would journey into the far reaches of their senior years. Red had a lot to think about. After his five days in ICU, they ran a battery of tests including sonic ultrasound and dye injections. They couldn’t find any traces of his illness. It was as if he was never sick. God was in control and Red knew it.  The aged Eagle was a miracle blessed by God.                 
                                                                                                                                                Back to the reality of Red’s condition today: He slept well last night and had a big breakfast this morning. His hospice nurse came early for her scheduled appointment at 8am and we talked about many things, including the bubbling-she suggested that when he feels that bubbling he should immediately use his inhaler and turn up his oxygen. We will give that a try. When Kerry and I went to bed last night, we looked at each other thinking the same thing – Congestive Heart Failure –   
                                                                                                                                                God is in control of how and when He will take His children home. With Red having a sneak peek into what lays ahead for all of God’s children, we are blessed, and grateful for this divine experience.  

*Where Eagles Fly…Remember Me published by Amethyst Moon Publications 2008.                                                               

Where Eagles Fly…Uncensored  (a re-release) is scheduled for release by Amethyst Moon Publications in July 2012.

Tally Ho...

Tally Ho…

When Red (Kerry’s dad) was a young man, he was a warrior. He fought against the odds and for some unknown reason, he beat them. As a WWII fighter pilot, (flying for the Royal Air Force) he would straddle his Hurricane and head off into battle, man against man, machine against machine, luck against odds.

After the war he returned home a forgotten hero. Since he flew with the RAF (Britian) and not the USAF, his own country would ignore him and his accomplishments. To this day he has no veteran's benefits from the U.S. government. He will be buried with military honors, but only because his wife served in the W.A.V.E.S.

He flew, he fought, he eventually got shot down in the South Pacific and spent the remaining 3 ½ years of the war as a POW on the island of Java (he refers to this as being a guest of the peoples of Japan). How can one make a joke about such an ordeal? He can. He does.

So fighting the good fight is nothing new to this man. Tally Ho was his battle cry and he shouted it every time he faced his enemy. He shouted it often. Today he is fighting his final battle, one he knows he will win. Yes, he will lose the physical battle of body against age, but that is nothing compared to the battle of mind (spirit) over fear (Satan). He knows that when his final moments are upon him, there is nothing ahead of him other than clear skies, no turbulence, and a clearance for landing…at heaven’s gate. We should all be so lucky. Tally Ho.

In this family portrait you can see a young Red, with wife and kids in tow (yes, that is Kerry being held by Chris, her mom).

My prayer today is one of blessings and joy. Blessings for the life we live and joy for the experiences we share with those who care about us.

Father, generous provider, bless those who read these words and especially bless those who are experiencing trials and tribulations. Give them strength to endure as you have done for Kerry and me. As our world is in constant turmoil, I ask that you send your guardian angels to shroud our soldiers with their wings. Let the songs of heaven echo within the hearts and souls of all of my Christian brothers and sisters. As we look up towards your throne, all we see is your glory. As Red and Chris look up towards your glory, all they see is home. And for that we are eternally grateful, in your son’s holy name, Jesus Christ, Amen

Father and Son...

Father and Son...

Flying down to Tucson from Oregon, John, (Red's oldest son) wanted to surprise his mom and dad with an unannounced visit. He arrived late on Thursday evening, after his parents had gone to bed. Usually, in the morning, part of my routine is to bring them their breakfast trays, once the meds were distributed. While Red (Kerry’s dad) sat at the table waiting for his food, it was John who delivered his eggs and toast (with sausage and fried tomatoes). Surprise Surprise Surprise.

It was an interesting day. So far, Red was doing great. His son was here and only a few weeks earlier Tina (Kerry’s sister) was here for 2 weeks giving us a much needed break from our caregiver routines (see Tina Helps With Her Dad – Sunday May 6^th posting).

Now that both Chris (Kerry’s mom) and Red were fed, and John was here, and considering all was going well, I decided to go to the gym for an hour.  Kerry was also off of work for the day so I knew the household was in good hands.

While on the treadmill, almost approaching my 3 mile goal my cell phone started to ring. Panting like a dog, I was able to answer, "Hello.” It was Kerry. She wanted to know what dose I gave her dad this morning for pain control and at what time. I gave her the information she needed and then asked what was going on. Apparently her dad was experiencing great pain (on a scale of 1 – 10, 10 being child birth, he was rapidly approaching a 9, and climbing).

How can things change so rapidly? Only 30 minutes earlier he was sitting there basking in the joys of seeing his son while devouring a great breakfast. I immediately headed home from the gym.

The nurses’ aide was here, to do his bi-weekly shower and shave and as I entered Red’s bedroom, I found him curled up on the bed, in agony. The aide looked concerned and told me that she called for the RN on call. The pain meds Kerry gave him were now starting to kick in. John was getting a sample of what our “bad” days look like – this was becoming a very bad day.

The nurse arrived and did what she had to do. By then, everything was more or less under control. Kerry and I know what to do under these circumstances, and that is exactly what was done. Red was starting to feel much better. This was Johns first day with us (a Friday). The rest of the day John watched (and helped whenever he could). John recently watched his father-in-law pass away from cancer. John’s wife June was the warrior who provided care for her dad during his final stage of life. What we were doing here was no surprise to John – He actually said that his folks looked better than he expected (even though his mom was still healing from her recent fall (see Help Me I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up – Wednesday May 16^th posting).

The rest of Friday was uneventful, and Saturday was pretty much the same. Both Red and Chris were healing (semi "good" days). John spent a lot of time with his folks and especially with his dad. They talked about flying and the war (something Red enjoys very much). Sunday morning, just before noon, John headed back to Oregon. It was a good visit, for Red, for Chris and for Kerry and me as well. But more important, it was a good visit for John.