Citizen Cane…

There is an old riddle out there that most of you have probably heard…It goes like this;

What starts out with 4 legs, then has 2 and ends with 3?  Of course the answer is “man.” The 4 legs are when we crawl as a baby. As we grow we learn to balance on 2 legs and continue that way until our senior years, when a cane becomes our constant companion (the 3^rd leg).

Red (Kerry’s dad) is now dependant on what we lovingly refer to as his 3^rd leg; and being forgetful as he is, he constantly goes around complaining that he can’t find his 3^rd leg. Kerry and I usually find it quickly. He also uses a Zimmer (one of those “walker” things with 2 wheels on one side and tennis ball covered legs on the other). Add to that his new 4 wheeled walker, with basket, brakes and a seat and you have a complete set of 3^rd legs for Red. He will grab whichever one is nearer to him when he needs to be mobile. It can be comical at times when you look at his recliner, with him sound asleep, surrounded by his entourage of balance aides-a 3^rd leg traffic jam.

Kerry’s mom (Chris) was entered into hospice last week. It was amazing…as the hospice nurse was here to evaluate Red, she kept looking over at Chris, with concern (and compassion). After Red was taken care of she spoke with Kerry and me. She asked, “Have you ever thought about signing up your mom into hospice?” To be honest, we never even considered it-not for a moment. But after hearing her suggest it, and seeing all that they are doing for Red, the concept of hospice for Chris started making more sense. She was signed up later that day. She too now enjoys the fact that there is a 4 member team assigned to her, to answer any need that she may have. This also gives Kerry and me a little breathing room.

Things lately have been crazy around here, starting with Chris’ fall a few days ago. Her mobility dropped down to ZERO leaving it up to me and Kerry to transport her here and there and to be there to assist her with the simplest tasks. Today she is doing much better, but still needs some extra care from us – Amazingly, now that hospice has her as a patient, we were able to utilize hospice nurses for some of Chris’ immediate needs.

John (Kerry’s brother) came down from Oregon for a few days. With the rapid decline of his dad (Red), John knew that he had to make the trip now, while there was still time to spend quality time with his father. On Friday morning, everything started out great with John bringing his dad the breakfast tray. Surprise Surprise Surprise…

After insuring all was well I headed to the gym for a quick run. While on the treadmill I got a call from Kerry – she had some questions about the pain control for her dad. She needed to administer some additional meds as her dad was now in severe pain. His gut was on fire. His constipation quickly became painfully serious. By time I got home all hell broke loose. The hospice nurse was called and within 15 minutes she was here. Kerry had already administered the pain meds and Red was starting to pass what he needed to pass. In some ways I was surprised (and in other ways I wasn’t) at how fast Red went from “all is well” to “take me now Lord, I’m tired of this.” I was glad that John got to see what we go through.

As children of God, caring for the elderly, we call out this healing prayer:

“Heavenly Father, You are intimately aware of the struggle that our elderly parents are experiencing -- the pain and the despair. You know the desire of their heart to be comforted during this time of decline. I ask now for Your soothing touch. I know that You are able and that just like in Bible times, You can bring peace to the minds and bodies of those we watch suffer.

“I also understand that You will chose what is best for the elderly.  I pray that through this trial, we will all draw closer to You -- that You will be our comfort and strength. I pray that ultimately, whatever happens, You will be glorified through Kerry and I and what we do here today. I pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Help Me I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up...

Help Me I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up...

After another usual nonstop day of stress and concern, we finally sat down to a quiet dinner, reflecting on the day. Chris (Kerry's mom) was still not felling well due to her sinus infection. She ate her meal in her living room. After she eats supper she usually goes in and brushes her teeth, flosses and changes intro her jammies.

While Red (Kerry's dad), Kerry and I were enjoying our usual after-meal conversation, I thought I heard a muffled "Help" coming from somewhere in the distance. I got up and checked on Chris. I found her pinned between the toilet and bidet. She was wedged in there tightly. Apparently, as she was trying to dress, she lost her balance and went down, pulling her walker down on top of her. Chris and Red both wear one of those "Help Me I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up" buttons. The way Chris was wedged in there, she couldn't reach her button...not sure she even thought of trying to reach it. She said all she could do was yell out for help as loud as she could.

A thorough evaluation was done by Kerry and me to insure no bones were broken. Once all seemed okay, we lifted her back up onto her feet. She walked (with walker) all the way back to her living room seat.

Red sat back and watched the entire thing unfold before his eyes, His concern was great and he immediately complained to me that all he could do was watch-feeling quite useless. He was kicking himself for not being able to help. I asked him if he prayed and he said, "Oh Yeah - Big-time." I thanked him for doing that and added that his prayer was a greater thing then my lifting and it was his prayer that delivered his bride uninjured (with only one cut on her left elbow). He stopped kicking himself.

Sleeping Like A Baby...

Sleeping Like A Baby...

Now that hospice is on board we can tap into them as a resource for those issues that cause us the most grief (lack of sleep).

One of the main issues we have is the regular wake up calls from Kerry's dad (Red) in the middle of the night. If he has some pain or has fallen and needs help, I am there for him, 100%. That was why we set up the walkie talkie system, so he could call me directly (if my services were needed). Those wake up calls have elvolved into more of an every-night-sit-there-and-listen-to-him-rant event, one that leaves me feeling exhausted.

Seeing that his issues were becoming more about confusion versus pain, I was glad to hear that the hospice people had a solution. They sent over some extra meds yesterday and when it was bedtime we administered them, as directed. Last night was the first night in a long time that I slept without interruption. Praise God!

When we got up this morning, just to be sure all was okay; we went into Red's bedroom to check on his status. He was snoring, peacefully, sleeping like a baby.

Good job...hospice!

The "A" Team...

The “A” Team…

I have so many things to talk about. What a week.

Let me see, where do I start? Do I talk about the 2:00am wake-up calls I get every night; those calls by Red (Kerry's dad) asking me to stand and watch him reorganizing his bathroom cupboards in the middle of the night or debate WWII memories? No, I think I already mentioned his middle-of-the-night confussion in a previous BLOG. Should I touch on how much slower Red is moving around? I think that is a given, considering his condition and prognosis. We can go on and on about all of those issues, but it would take a dozen pages to tell the story.

The big event for this week would have to be the sit-down we had on Saturday (yesterday) with a hospice nurse. It only took 2 hours to have all of our questions answered. The papers were signed; as of now Red is a hospice in-home patient. We will be looking forward to his 4 member team coming over to introduce themselves (a nurse, a nurse’s aide, a spiritual counselor and a social worker – The “A” Team). These folks will be here, as needed, on a 24/7 on-call basis. I will update you on how things are going as we get further into our relationship with the “A” Team.

Already today we received a delivery of a bath-pack, an oxygen machine (with tubing), two oxygen tanks (with rolling pull-behind stand) to use in case of a power outage, and a larger walker (with wheels, brakes, a seat and a basket). Yes, these things are all part of the deal and there will be more to come. Yeah Hospice…

My prayer today is a simple one.

Lord, our Father almighty. Bless those who give of themselves to help others in need. Bless those in need. Bless the wonders of life and how fragile you created it. Bless the family who can share in the transformation from an earthly life to a heavenly one. Bless those family members who are not able to share the passing of a loved one so they may find peace and comfort in knowing that you, our Father, who art in Heaven, will watch over those who pass from our hands into yours. And finally, Father, bless Kerry for her stoic strength and conviction, which comes from her devotion to you. For all of these things we pray, in Your sons name, AMEN.

Sleep Walker...

Sleep Walker . . .

Now that Red (Kerry’s dad) is on a more effective pain medication we all agreed that his pain med distribution needed to be controlled. Dates, times, amounts, pain levels, etc will all be documented. Instead of having him help himself to middle-of-the-night medications, we suggested that if he wakes up in the middle of the night, and feels he needs additional medication, he can call us (me) on the walkie talkie.

So far I am getting paged, anywhere between 12:30am and 2:30am (every night). As a youngster (in my teens and early 20’s) I would often stay up until 1am, and I only needed a couple of hours sleep. I also enjoyed sleeping in until noon on occasion. .

When I am being paged at night, it isn't to help Red with his medication (the original concept). Instead, he calls me to tell me how he’s feeling…I am sure he is just feeling alone and has a need to speak with someone willing to sit and listen. As I get up to answer his call, and head towards his apartment, I feel like a Sleep Walker, focused only on getting to where I need to be, taking care of business and getting back to the warmth of my bed.

I promised Red that I would be his transition buddy, to help him on this final journey. For that reason I have no problem getting up, when he feels he needs me, for whatever reason. Those days of staying up until the wee hours of the morning are long gone. Days sleeping in until noon are also long gone. I guess being a Sleep Walker is now the way I will spend my days (or should I say nights?)

Tina Helps With Her Dad...

Tina Helps With Her Dad...

As a nurse, Kerry knows what it is like having patients use their call button when nursing service are needed. Kerry's sister Tina (Christina) is also a nurse who spent the last two weeks here giving us a much needed break. Red and Chris (their dad and mom) used the "oral" call button to the max. The call, “Tina,” can be heard constantly echoing throughout the house. We need to install an intercom system or room monitor. Tina now sees first hand what our day to day responsibilities look like. She leaves on Tuesday - our vacation is over.

As Tina and Kerry’s dad (Red) slides a little further down the slippery slope of his cancers, we get to see how his body, and mind, handles the on slot of medical issues. Constipation, pain, irritation, short temper, irritability, and of course, lack of quality sleep. Any one of these you and I would find intolerable – Red has them all, and more.

We have a meeting with in oncologist on Monday (tomorrow) just to see how his labs are doing. More meds were prescribed to control the pain and slowly this type of chemical numbing will become his daily routine. Hey, as long as he feels pain free I am all for it (we are all “all for it”).

My prayer today is for the soundness of mind of those suffering from any decease.

Father, hear my prayer. Please clear the fog that over takes the dying mind. Allow clear thoughts to find their way to the surface, and to suppress fear and anxiety. Father I ask you to bless Tina for coming here and being a caregiver for her dad while Kerry and I rested. Please give Tina safe travel mercies as she heads back to her family. Lord, we see the spark of your Spirit in Red’s eyes and we pray that he continues to lean on you during those rough days when his body and mind fail him. Most of all Lord we pray for understanding and patience as we deal with Red’s confusion and frustration. He knows we are there for him and for that he is grateful. We know that You Father are there for us and for that we are grateful. Fill our hearts with your Spirit and our minds with your words, so we can share your word with those willing to listen. We pray for all of this in your son’s name, Amen.

Say Ahhh...

Say Ahhh...

As you know, last week was a rough one for Kerry's dad (Red). It started with a tooth ache that wouldn't go away. (see previous post Don't Pull My Leg - Pull My Tooth - April 25, 2012). Red had a tooth pulled and was scheduled to return today (Wednesday) to have another one removed.

While Kerry and I were in San Diego last weekend we kept in touch with Kerry's sister (Tina) to make sure all was going well. It was...until Sunday morning. When we called the house on Sunday (after church) we were told that Red woke up early with another tooth ache. He called his dentist (at home) - yes, this dentist gave Red his home phone number. By 7:30 am Sunday morning, Red was sitting in the chair, receiving the first stages of a root canal. Also, it was determined that alot of Red's discomfort was coming from a dry-socket where he had his previous extraction. The dry socket was treated. The appointment for Wednesday (today) was kept, to continue working on the root canal and dry socket. Of course, antibiotics were prescribed.

The story gets more interesting from here...Red reacted to the antibiotics, even though probiotics were on board. His stomach was constantly upset and that swollen lymph node pressing up against his intestines was causing him discomfort. Red is tired of hurting and getting fed up.

Today (Wednesday) Red told me that he slept better compared to the night before. When his feet are elevated, he feels more comfortable. We will make sure he spends a lot of time with his feet up on his wedge.

As far as Chris goes (Kerry’s mom), she went to the dentist with Red last week, to have a cleaning. They found a cavity and filled it (without novacaine). A cavity, at her age? Drilled and filled without pain meds? Amazing! Today we woke up to the sound of Red calling me on the intercom system we set up between their bedroom and ours. “Richard, Help Help Help,” was the sound I woke up to. Instantly Kerry and I were heading to their apartment to see what was going on. Chris fell between her bed and Red’s bed. No injuries, except for a slight scratch on her shoulder. Within moments (after making sure nothing was broken) we had her up on her feet and on her way to getting her wound cleaned up. After a dressing  was placed on her shoulder, she continued on as if nothing happened.

It has been an interesting week so far. Today, Tina took her dad back to the dentist to continue with his dental work. Next Monday, he will return once again to have the root canal finally filled and follow up appointments will be made to address some small cavity concerns.

Say Ahhh...